A few years ago, my wife and I were at a Jodo Shinshu temple
listening to the Sensei’s morning dharma talk about the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path. Despite his lively
and articulate lesson, my wife and I could not remember the last five steps of
the Noble Eightfold Path as we drove home afterwards. We were stuck on the steps
of Right Thought and Right Speech. In fact, for years we
would contemplate Right Thought and Right Speech, and why the most difficult
(in our opinions) were right up at the top of the list. We agreed that we could
learn to keep our mouths shut… some of
the time… but how would we possibly govern each and every thought that
popped in our heads?!
As much as one tries to be open-minded, and free from judgment,
no one is perfect. Just as the wind may blow in an unexpected direction, our
thoughts may also take a surprising, if not shocking, turn. I will sometimes
have thoughts that creep into my head that make me wonder about my own sanity!
Worse is when old memories of frustration, anger, and sadness would come back
to tap me on the shoulder to say, “hi! We’re going to hang out here for a
while!”
Does this mean that I am
I failing at Right Thought? Should I turn in my Buddhist card if I can’t stop
these unwanted guests from taking up space in my brain?
Buddha teaches in the Four
Noble Truths that we must free ourselves from the suffering of attachment.
He goes on to teach that the Noble
Eightfold Path serves to ease our suffering. I truly felt, and still do,
that I could lose much of my physical, material possessions, and still be
happy. But why could I not give up these attachments to stressful memories that
I had already lived and learned from? Moreover, why am I gripping on to
anxieties in anticipation of things yet to, or may never, come? Why would I
want to be shackled to keeping these dark artifacts in my head, but be totally
fine if I lost my Superman collectibles?
Finally, I had to take a clinical approach to my
understanding of the application of Right
Thought. In order for me to fully grasp it, I had to see it as a
utilitarian means for taking on daily challenges.
What I found to be the case was that our thoughts are what
carry us. They set the tone for our day and push us into action, and reinforce
positive behaviors and relationships. What I realized for myself is that we
think in language, and in pictures, which are translated into feelings, and can
manifest into good or poor health. This was the case for me a couple of years
back as I was dealing with issues of anxiety and depression.
I recognize that everyone’s struggles are unique. I am not
giving advice on how one should cope with their mental or physical healthcare.
What I am presenting is simply my situation.
During my struggles, I employed what is known as Cognitive
Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Essentially it is a process of journaling and keeping
record of your mood, and feelings, as well as any physical manifestations that
may have occurred as a result. I would record whatever feelings, fears, or
negative emotions I was experiencing. Then, later that day I would reflect on
what I had written and contemplate if any of what I had jotted down had any
merit. While, often, during reflection, I would find that my fears were for
not, but I would still suffer the physical effects of anxiety: stomach aches,
headaches, fatigue, and racing heart rate. In fact, it resulted in going to the
ER a couple of times, for fear I was having a heart attack.
While CBT had its merits for me in that it allowed me to
recognize that some of my worries were for nothing, it did do me the disservice
of reinforcing my worrisome emotions through language. By writing everyday that
I was angry, sad, scared, inadequate, or alone, it just kept those words in the
forefront of my mind. They were all that I thought of.
It was not until later that I listened to motivational
speaker, Earl Nightingale’s Gold Record, The
Strangest Secret. That secret is simply:
“We
become what we think about most of the time.”
And just as Peter D. Santini states in his book Fundamentals of Buddhism:
“Thought
has an immense influence on one’s behavior… The Buddha has said if one acts and
speaks with a pure mind, then happiness follows as one’s shadow that never
leaves.”
So, for me I had to stop thinking about feeling lousy, and
recognize that I was only reinforcing negativity by keeping those feelings as
my most dominant thoughts, consciously and subconsciously. As Napoleon Hill wrote in his widely
regarded, best-selling 1937 book, Think
and Grow Rich:
“Through
the dominating thoughts which one permits to remain in the conscious
mind (whether these thoughts be negative or positive, is immaterial), the
principle of auto-suggestion voluntarily reaches the subconscious mind and
influences it with these thoughts.”
I was finally starting to learn that I am the gatekeeper of
my mind. I do not have to allow those negative thoughts to stay. When those
thoughts peek in, I would tell myself, “cancel that thought!” and to change the
language that dominated my thinking. I had to move beyond what I saw as my
negative characteristics and take stock of my value. I had to create new daily rituals
for myself.
These daily rituals involve self-care through exercise,
meditation, and positive affirmations. My affirmations include gratitude, and creative
visualization with regard to the outcome of my goals for that day. Just simply
telling myself, “I’m going to feel good today!” is one of my most important
routines to help set the tone for my thoughts for the day.
In his best-selling book, Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz, writes about the power of visualization
of positive outcomes, as well as self-affirmations to achieve personal goals
and improve one’s overall health and self-esteem. He writes:
“We
think better, perform better, feel better, and are healthier, when we are
happy. Even our physical sense organs work better.”
He goes on to write:
“Happiness is not something that is earned or deserved. Happiness is not
a moral issue, any more than the circulation of the blood is a moral issue…Happiness
is simply a “state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of
the time.” If you wait until you “deserve” to think pleasant thoughts, you are
likely to think unpleasant thoughts concerning your own unworthiness.”
In Right Understanding,
we recognize the root of our suffering. Or in terms of daily living, it may be
identifying an obstacle at work, a project we wish to undertake, or some form
of self-improvement. With Right Thought,
we are focusing our intentions on how we will overcome our suffering, or
succeed at our goals. And as Dr. Maltz states, we have to make sure that our
thoughts are positive, and we think in affirming language that suggests
success.
The Buddha would say that we should keep our thoughts free
of ill-will, ignorance, and desire. It could be argued that for one to want to
accomplish their goals, there must be an element of desire. The desire Buddha
speaks of is the cravings for physical things, lust, and greed.
We cannot want to proactively solve our problems, or be
better at our jobs, or seek to be better people if not for some kind of desire.
But, one must reflect on the motivation of one's desire. If your desire
is for the purpose of better serving your community, those with whom you work,
your clients, your family, then these are all valid forms of desire. As stated
in the book, Success Through a Positive
Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone, your objective, or
goal should not “violate the laws of God or the rights of your fellow men.”
In summary, what has helped me in my quest for
personal-betterment, is keeping my thoughts positive, and practicing daily
gratitude – even for the things that may frustrate me! Turning thoughts of
frustration into gratitude are helpful. Such as, “I sure am grateful to have
this car,” while I am sitting in traffic. Or, I may remind myself of the
contributions made by a frustrating co-worker or employee in the workplace.
Many may read this and completely disagree with my take on
this subject. And, while I may not have mastered Right Thought, and I certainly have not achieved enlightenment as
The Buddha had… more than likely, I never
will! However, I know that my thoughts these days are happier, more
positive, and more grateful, due to my daily practice. I know that my
thoughts are not always right, but I
am more mindful of them, as I strive to be better than I was yesterday, and the
day before.
